On the Death of Success & Individual Freedom

Update! At least he's honest...Rev. Al Sharpton says America clearly voted for socialism when we elected President Obama...and so it goes...



Fundamentally, success is a feeling. That’s why money alone can’t define one’s success; it’s simply not possible. You can have all the money imaginable and still not “feel” successful while someone else with barely a pot to piss in might feel satisfaction in the extreme.

The only consistent feeling associated with success is abundance. When you feel a sense of abundance, or if you prefer, fulfillment in material, emotional and spiritual life you probably feel successful. That threshold of abundance or satisfaction is determined only by the person you’re looking at when you brush your teeth in the morning.

The destructive forces that act against success are:

     • Fear,
     • Doubt,
     • and Complacency.

Of the three, complacency is the most dangerous.

Never in my lifetime have I seen a more serious threat to individual freedom and personal liberty than the threat posed by the debate over mandatory healthcare in the United States. This is the most egregious attempt at collectivism in U.S. history and is proof that government imposed altruism is the most destructive force working against individual freedom.

The United States was founded on the principle of individual freedom. This made us, for the first time in history, a society in which the government was a servant of the people rather than one in which the people were subjects of the government. This important distinction was expressed to the world in the elegant prose of the Declaration of Independence. Most important was the declaration that individual rights are natural rights and not defined by a ruler or a ruling body. Our founders created a government that would above all assure that individual rights would be protected from any actions of that government.

The fact is, despite the rhetoric, healthcare is not a right. Your freedom to care for your own health is. You don’t have the right to health insurance anymore than you have the right to a plasma screen television or a new car. You have the right to pursue these things provided you don’t impose on the rights of others to do the same.

This important distinction resonates most clearly in the words the founders used to define exactly what natural rights were: “…life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Note clearly the word “pursuit.” Your right is a freedom to pursue happiness, not a guarantee of it.

“A right does not include the material implementation of that right by other men; it includes only the freedom to earn that implementation by one’s own effort.” Ayn Rand

As soon as you allow your government to take from one to satisfy the needs or desires of another, you’ve crossed the line from freedom to tyranny; the only debate is one of scale.

If you feel it is morally just to provide for the healthcare of others, do it! It may be a moral obilgation to care for others, that's the job of charities not the government. You’re absolutely free to pay for the healthcare of another person or to purchase health insurance for your employees. In fact, you can even through the political process persuade the majority in your own State or municipality that you should provide all the basic material needs for the citizens of those entities and do so. The States and the people do have the privilege to create programs and make laws outside the power specifically enumerated in the Constitution; the federal government does not.

Why were the founders so paranoid about the power of a strong, centralized authority? That’s exactly what they rebelled against. As soon as the central authority has control over the natural rights of the individual, the government becomes a threat. It doesn’t matter if that threat comes from a king, a dictator, a president or from Congress.

Before you respond with the argument that all people living in the United States should be entitled to a basic level of healthcare ask yourself at whose expense? Before you consider that, remember that expense is not just a dollars and cents issue; those dollars and cents are only symbols representing the product of each individual’s labor. The government simply does not have the right to control the product of your individual labor (though arguably that limit has been violated numerous times throughout our history.) As soon as the government confiscates your labor and gives it to someone else, that government has become tyrannical and you’ve become a slave, not a free man.

One might argue that each of us offers our consent through the electoral process. The potential for abuse of that consent is exactly why the founders specified so clearly the limitations of federal power. The Constitution does not tell the government what it can do; it specifically tells the government what it can’t do.

So why do so many people want the government to expand and become the beneficent provider of our basic material needs?

Is it because we’re attempting to evolve into a more enlightened society that assures a basic level of material comfort for everyone? That’s the argument of every elitist in history. There are always those who know best you need most. When those people are elected to Congress, it’s inevitable that they feel entitled and endowed with the wisdom to decide what’s best for you. This is not theoretical; it’s happening.

Did the great socialist regimes of the 20th century succeed in creating a perfect altruistic society? No; every one failed miserable and slaughtered millions of people in the attempt. You can argue that this is because those societies were not ruled by Aristotelian intellectuals who theoretically rise above personal interest to rule with pre-ordained wisdom and kindness but rather by despots and psychopaths. It’s no accident that despots and psychopaths do pretty well politically when they can appeal to a society’s sense of entitlement or complacency.

The United States is the only society, or at least the first, that placed the interests of the individual above that of the collective; and it works. In the midst of our self-interest we are still the most dynamic, generous, charitable and selfless nation on earth.

So why are we locked in the most contentious debate in modern history over what seems to be the moral and logical desire to provide basic health care for every American?

Because we’re lazy.

Wouldn’t it be easier to simply have one system? We wouldn’t have to shop for insurance, we’d know that no matter what happens to us we can go to the doctor or hospital and our needs would be taken care of. Everyone would have access to the same basic care. Best of all, just like taxes, we really wouldn’t notice the costs of this service because it would just be taken care of; all we have to do is manage the money we have left after all the deductions are taken from our paychecks. Our healthcare, for all intents and purposes would be “free!”

Not so much.

The experiment has already failed. “FREE!” is not the same as freedom. Every example of nationalized healthcare has some degree of restriction, rationing and denial of treatment. The difference is that the authorities decide who is treated and how, not the individual. Certain treatments even in the most democratic versions in Canada and England are outlawed and access to them is restricted by law regardless of your ability to pay on your own. At the same time taxes in these semi-socialist states are the highest in the world; no, it’s not free.

This is the heart of the issue. It’s not about covering people with authentic need; we could have done that for the next 10 years with the money and resources we’ve wasted on this battle.

We’re again facing a defining moment in American history. Are we a bunch of complacent wimps who need a paternal government to provide for our basic needs? Are we reverting to the status of subject, subject to the generosity of our rulers?

Will we emerge from this as a people who above all cherish individual liberty or as a people who would prefer a central authority vested with our trust to define and assure just access to minimal standards of living for all?

Complacency will certainly assure just that.


Jim Bouchard is a speaker, media personality and author of Think Like a Black Belt (available May 2010) and Dynamic Components of Personal Power. Visit JimBouchard.org.

Note from Jim: Hey, I love to write in a hard-core, pithy, “man of the streets” style; that’s who I am. I’d love to inject some sarcasm and have a little fun with this whole issue. This issue is too important, so pardon my departure. For those who look for the “Black Belt” theme in my articles I’ll say that in this case, the real Black Belt Mindset is expressed by simply facing the challenge in front of us. Whichever way this issue goes, I’ll be back to task next week.

Lessons from Joe Stack and the Austin IRS Plane Attack?

"It was totally out of character…" that's what Billy Eli and other friends of Joe Stack keep saying. Nobody saw this coming except maybe Joe Stack; and he did a good job of hiding it.

The likely reaction to the attack on the Austin IRS building will be to try and learn some lessons from this incident, to try and "keep this from ever happening again." Before we spin-off on too many tangents, let's take a focused look at Joe Stack and his motivations.

Stack was a seriously disturbed human being…period. The fact that his closest friends didn't see it is not unusual, in fact it's typical. Even if you know what signs to look for, your natural tendency to see the best in those close to you would likely prevent you from believing that anyone you know could be capable of such a horrific act of violence and destruction.

Stack was also a highly intelligent person. It shouldn't be hard to believe that he could purposefully hide his deepest angst and put a cheerful face on for the public. At the same time, everything was not roses and sunshine as evidenced by his recent divorce. He attempted to murder his estranged family by burning their home to the ground. In hindsight, I am certain that Stack's ex-wife will give us a different portrait of the man than the one his friends and casual acquaintances are painting.

An intelligent, clever, deranged person is capable of incredible levels of deception. In retrospect we'll see that much of Stack's life was a deception. It's already evident from his "manifesto" that he was hiding tremendous anger, resentment and a grave sense of injustice. His writings are that of a self-absorbed paranoid; experts are calling him a narcissist.

That doesn't mean he wasn't a nice guy and it doesn't mean anyone else could have seen this coming, even or especially those closest to him.

It would be typical for those closest to the perpetrator to experience extreme feelings of guilt and self-doubt. Could anyone have prevented this tragedy? Why didn't they see the signs?

These feelings are useless and unwarranted. The family and friends who survive Stack are victims; they are not complicit in his acts. He long ago chose to act alone. In his own words he says:

"Needless to say, this rant could fill volumes with example after example if I would let it. I find the process of writing it frustrating, tedious, and probably pointless… especially given my gross inability to gracefully articulate my thoughts in light of the storm raging in my head."

Stack couldn't sort out his anguish for himself, much less express his feelings to others. His manifesto is a pointless, rambling diatribe that blames society, the government, corporations, politicians and churches for what he perceives as the injustices in his life. There is only one short, but significant example of what might be interpreted as introspection in his 3,000 word suicide note:

"Sadly, though I spent my entire life trying to believe it wasn't so, but violence not only is the answer, it is the only answer."

Sadly, Stack reached a point where he genuinely believed this to be true.

There is a clear and present danger in our attempt to understand Joe Stack and the reasons for his attack. Our society is understandably in the midst of a heightened state of sensitivity when it comes to acts of extreme violence. We want to know the reasons behind it; we want to face our enemy and if possible, avenge the suffering and deaths of the victims.

There is no enemy here, but there are plenty of people who will attempt to create one and others who will exploit our sensitivity to exalt Joe Stack to martyrdom. There are organized and institutional enemies out there both outside and within our borders. There is no reason to believe Stack is associated with any of them. His actions were that of a psychotic; not a rebel with a cause.

Commentators have already remarked on the "articulate" expression in Stack's "manifesto." What "manifesto?" (Read Stack's suicide rant here.) This is a suicide note. There are no rational arguments, only attempts to assign blame. Stack rails against the same society and system in which he was able to create what most rational people would describe as a very comfortable, even successful life. Let's not lose sight of the fact that despite his incessant complaints of persecution and mistreatment, this guy flew his own private aircraft into that Austin building.

The danger is that his arguments will resonate with some. He identifies institutions that many will see as common enemies and he is likely to strike a chord with those who feel disenfranchised, particularly given our current economic conditions and our lack of confidence in our political system.

Do not make Joe Stack the leader of the 2^nd American Revolution; he was a violent psychopath. Joe Stack was a nut. This is a sad and tragic story and each of us given should pay close attention to the pressure and stress we feel, particularly if you're experiencing financial hardship or other difficulties. Pay even closer attention to any feelings of resentment and rage you might have, however justified, if your current situation is due to conditions or circumstances beyond your control.

No matter how bad it gets, would you burn down your own home, attempt to kill your ex-wife and step daughter and fly your plane into a building full of innocent people? If you do feel as if doing harm to others would be some kind of answer to your problems, please reach out and get help now.

You may at this very moment be experience some or most of the frustrations that Stack so emotionally expresses in what the media is calling his manifesto. The plain truth is that if you are experiencing financial or emotional challenges, whether these challenges are of your own making or due to conditions beyond your control, the solution always starts with you. You can choose to begin the process of making a better life for yourself, or you can choose to fall into a state of despair that would make you vulnerable to some degree of the insanity expressed by Stack. You can choose to attack windmills, or you can choose to take the first small step toward creating the life and success you want.

Let's be very careful that we don't allow Joe Stack to be transformed into a martyr or a hero. If he is a symbol, he should only be a symbol of our need to accept personal responsibility for creating the solutions to whatever problems we have. Let him be a symbol that we should pay close attention to the people around us and reach out to them if we think they need our help.

Most of all let him be a symbol of the fact that sometimes people simply succumb to the terrible condition of mental illness and sometimes it isn't anybody's fault.

My heartfelt sympathy goes out to the friends and families of those killed in this brutal incident. My sympathy extends to the friends and family of Joe Stack, particularly those who will feel that in some way they should have seen this coming.

My sympathy also extends to Joe Stack himself. It is a genuine tragedy that such an intelligent and seemingly gifted human being could not find a way to reach out for help before he caused so much violence, grief and suffering for so many.

A wasted life is always a tragedy.

"All life is precious and can never be replaced." Shaolin Temple saying




Jim Bouchard is an internationally recognized speaker and author of Think Like a Black Belt and Dynamic Components of Personal Power. Visit JimBouchard.org.

Update: Victim identified...

Why the Security Guards were right and what they did was wrong

Sometimes you do the right thing and you get kicked in the ass; sometimes you get hurt. That's the plain facts of life. Sometimes doing the right thing means breaking some rules and risking a good ass kicking.

The Seattle security guards who stood by and watched one teenage girl kick another teenage girl in the head did everything by the book. It's about time we burned some books.

It's really a simple matter of policy. That statement should cause you to feel nauseated or angry, but it's true. The policy of the Olympic Security Service in Seattle is clear: observe and report. That's the policy for most civilian security agencies, store clerks and bank tellers across the country.

There's good reason for this policy. Most civilian employees are not trained to stop a violent attack and even if they are, they are not generally afforded the same legal discretion in the use of force equal to that given law enforcement personnel. The intention is to prevent untrained people from causing injury or harm to innocent people, or themselves.

Even law enforcement officers have been under increased pressure. They're sued for excessive force even in cases where their application of force appears more than reasonable. In most cases, they're subject to administrative leave and public condemnation as they wait for their names to be cleared. If their actions are deemed justified; the news of exoneration is seldom given the same media attention as the accusation of excessive force.

I'm not defending anyone who uses excessive force whether law enforcement or anyone else. The real danger today, however, is that you can be doing exactly the right thing as measured by the standard of what any reasonable person would do and still be subject to criminal charges, lawsuits, loss of your job and damage to your reputation.

That's why the Olympic Security Guards were right. What they did, or didn't do, was wrong.

Responsibility sometimes transcends what "reasonable people" might do in the face of real danger. Still, the guards did act reasonably so let's be sure we cover all the arguments justifying their actions/inactions.

Company policy says they did the right thing. We already beat that horse, but it is reasonable to follow company policy. Is following company policy justification enough to stand by while someone else is lying defenseless on the ground as another person kicks her head? Would you have risked your job to intervene on her behalf?

How about the danger of personal injury? One report cited that the guards acted properly since they were outnumbered 3 to 1. I've been teaching self-defense for over 20 years and every time we talk about similar situations I caution people to be very careful before they get involved. Part of the reason for this caution is the risk of personal injury, particularly if you're facing overwhelming odds or you're unarmed.

Would you face an angry violent mob to protect someone you didn't know?

The final argument is that this attack may have been provoked. It's certainly not reasonable to ask someone to try and sort out the justification for such an attack to decide whether it's appropriate to intervene. Would you want to know all the circumstances before you step into a situation like this one?

No matter what the provocation, what justification is there for a group of young women, or anyone else for that matter to track down and batter someone who poses no immediate physical threat?

Maybe it's time we become a lot less reasonable. This case is not isolated; the news has been full of reports of violent attacks, particularly by young people where bystanders lived up to the name until it was too late to help the victims. A few months ago dozens of teens walked by for nearly two hours as a classmate was brutally and repeatedly raped at a high school dance. Adults have even instigated attacks by their own children on others. In one recent case a parent prevented a victim from escaping a beating at her own home by her own daughter. Are these the actions of "reasonable" people?

Here is my "unreasonable" response:

This girl was escorted by mall cops to the area patrolled by the Olympic Security guards. She told the guards what was happening and asked for their protection. If their job is to observe and report, that's when they should have reported and had real cops on the way. Also at that point the very least they could have done was to take this young woman to a safer location.

Once the fight started it would seem a reasonable person concerned about personal harm would move to safety. These guys stood inches, not feet, inches from the fight. It does look like the closest guard is telling the attacker to back off, but is that enough? Part of the reason these guards probably don't act threatened is because they aren't. Two of the guards obviously weighed more than both the victim and the assailant put together. These were skinny teenage girls, not 200 pound men.

Forget the guards for a second; what about the dozens of other people walking by on the platform? Nobody wants to get involved? Did they assume the guards would handle it? Were they also afraid of this 110 pound teenage girl?

But what if one of the guards did grab the attacker? What if in the struggle the guard injured the attacker; what if they broke her arm? What if the other kids suddenly jumped in? The problem here is that the guards would likely lose their jobs, and would probably be the target of civil litigation. In our society the person doing the right thing is not always protected by the law. Sometimes the scumbag who is injured in the act of committing a crime comes out better than the person who risked his own safety to stop the crime.

Here's what should have happened:

Screw the possible consequences. Somebody, and most likely the guards whom the victim approached for help should have grabbed that skinny punk kid and tossed her across the platform. Those actions would have at the very least saved the victim from taking some of the 16 blows I counted on the video. This fight lasted nearly as long as an official round of amateur boxing. Wasn't that enough time for someone to step in?

One expert on ABC News, Professor Harold Tarkooshian of Fordham University stated that only 5% of the population would intervene given the same circumstances. The 95% who would not act would probably have reasonable justification to "observe and report." Some would not be physically capable, that makes sense. Others would fear retribution or personal injury, perfectly reasonable. Still others would simply not want to risk the possibility of a lawsuit not knowing all the circumstances, perfectly understandable.

It does take courage to act. Courage is not the absence of fear, that's stupidity. Courage is your willingness to act in the face of fear.

If you were faced with the same circumstances, would you be in the reasonable 95% of the population, or would you be in the 5% who would have the courage to act?



Here's a video of the attack with commentary from ABC News.


Jim Bouchard is an internationally recognized speaker, media personality and author of "Think Like a Black Belt." Jim is a self-defense expert with over 25 years experience and has served as a firefighter and bodyguard and has been involved in dealing with violent attackers in both roles.

For more information on Jim Bouchard and "Think Like a Black Belt" visit JimBouchard.org.

How DO You Boost Self-Esteem?

February is National Boost Your Self-Esteem Month! For more information and tools for esteem building visit JimBouchard.org!

You cannot "gift" self-esteem. Self-esteem can only be developed the old fashioned way; you have to earn it!
The formula is simple; not always easy. Think about the times in your life when you really felt a charge of self-esteem or self-worth:

• When you complete a big goal.
• When you do something really tough and see it all the way through.
• When you face a major challenge or adversity and succeed…or survive!
• When someone else recognized you for a job well done.

The best way to boost self-esteem is to take on some worthwhile, maybe even difficult challenge and see it through. Obviously self-esteem is boosted when you're successful, but you can also increase self-esteem by staying in a difficult fight whether you win or lose.

Challenge is the critical component. Does checking off some small or easy task on your list really boost your self-esteem? It may feel good to knock off some mundane task, but confidence and self-worth really comes from facing a meaningful challenge. The great thing is that these challenges are all around you:

• Take a college course or professional development seminar.
• Volunteer for a role outside your normal comfort zone.
• Set a challenging business or personal development goal and go for it.
• Learn something new; start learning a musical instrument or a new language.

The other important component in self-esteem is your perception of how other people see you. It's not always nice or easy, but it's the truth. Your self-esteem is sometimes affected by the opinions of others. I'm not encouraging you to become an egomaniac, but to a degree you've got to decide how other people's perceptions about you are going to affect your self-esteem. There's a vast difference between rationally processing other people's useful input and letting other people either build you up with false praise or knock you down with unprovoked attacks.

The most obvious boost to self-esteem originating from others is when you're recognized for a job well done or a significant contribution. But self-esteem cannot be "gifted," right? Still right! When you're recognized for your accomplishments remember that you're the one who did something worthy of that recognition. You have to train yourself to recognize and accept success.

Of course recognition for just showing up it does nothing for self-esteem! That's why we shouldn't be handing out trophies for losers! Harsh, but true! Most people (especially kids!) know when they're getting something for nothing, and that does nothing for self-esteem. It does quite the opposite; it causes you to question why you're being honored and usually results in feelings of unworthiness.

Be careful though…honorable mention is sometimes an honorable recognition! I always like to watch the last runners coming in at a marathon. These are the people who survive the race despite injuries and disabilities. I love to see someone literally dragging himself across the finish line 4 hours after the leaders. That guy deserves recognition; he could have quit! The honor is for finishing something most of us would consider impossible, not just for showing up on race day.

I just watched the 2010 "X-Games." There was a crash during the extreme snowmobile races; it looked to me like one of the racers broke his leg. I was amazed that the driver was continuing with the bottom part of his left leg flapping in the breeze! He pulled off the track where it became obvious that he didn't break his leg…he lost it! His prosthetic leg had come loose during the crash and his assistants were working frantically to get his leg back on and finish the race…and he did!

This guy earned his trophy! Instead of quitting he put his leg back on and finished. I hope he feels great about himself; he should! This racer's name is Mike Shultz. (Read more about Mike Shultz here!) Shultz earned whatever trophies he might earn the day he decided to get back on his sled with half his left leg missing!

I've had many great successes in my life. It took me a long time to learn how to recognize or accept success, even when other people were recognizing me for that success. Recognition can boost self-esteem if:

• The recognition is for genuine accomplishment.
• It comes from a credible source.
• You're receptive!

I've had many "Wayne's World" moments in my life. That's when someone offers genuine praise and I respond with my "I'm not worthy" chant. It's important to sort hollow praise from the noise, but when someone really notices when you do something remarkable, just say "thank you!" You see, the acceptance of genuine recognition is an action in itself; an important action in the self-esteem boosting process.

If recognition doesn't come, be ready to encourage yourself! Recognition is nice, but not necessary.

Here are three simple (not easy!) steps to help you boost your self-esteem:

• Find a meaningful challenge and go for it.
• Recognize the value of your success or your genuine effort.
• Accept recognition from credible sources.

Genuine self-esteem is not egotistical or selfish. It's synonymous with "confidence," an important quality of Black Belt Mindset. Knowing your own qualities and developing some surety in your ability to face challenges is an important value to yourself, but also the people around you. A more confident you is a greater resource to the important people in your life and to your community at large.

Boosting your self-esteem is a worthy goal for this month. The world needs a more confident you!

I'll post more about self-esteem throughout the month!


Want to start the process of boosting self-esteem in your life now? Get your copy of Dynamic Components of Personal POWER and your Power 101 audio program today!

You Don’t Have to Be a Champion

To be successful do you have to be the best?

A few years ago my wife Alex and I were on vacation in New Brunswick, Canada. We love the back roads and grab about any excuse we can for a side trip away from the major thru-ways; not a problem on this ride as we drove through Baie-Sainte-Anne, a small, rugged working fishing village. There wasn't much to see; small houses with boats in various stages of repairs, lawns covered with fishing gear and lobster pots.

We were struck by the site of a billboard, almost bigger than the small ranch house next to it. The sign read: "Welcome to Baie-Sainte-Anne, home of Yvon Durelle; the Fighting Fisherman!" It turns out the big sign and the little house both belonged to Durelle. Being a rabid boxing fan and an amateur boxer of negligible distinction I had to have a picture standing next to that sign!

Yvon Durelle was once a Canadian middleweight and light-heavyweight champion, but when there's an ultimate championship at stake other titles seem more like prerequisites for greatness rather than greatness themselves. Durelle set his sights on the World title.

His shot came on December 10, 1958 in Montreal. Authentic fight fans and pugilistic pundits still consider Durelle's battle with light-heavyweight World Champ Archie Moore to be one of the best fights in history. The Fisherman pounded the heavily favored Moore to the canvas 3 times in the first round; that would have been enough to earn the belt today but that was a different era in boxing. He knocked the champion down again in the 5^th. Somehow Moore weathered the beating and eventually knocked out Durelle in the 11^th to save his title.

Durelle never became World Champion. He retired with a record of 90 wins, (51 by way of knockout), 24 loses and 2 draws. One of those draws would likely have given him an earlier chance at the World title. After what most witnesses scored a sound beating of the number one contender, the boxing powers decided that the popular Tony Anthony was going to fight for the title and Durelle would have to wait. There's no such thing as a "fair fight."

Yvon Durelle's toughness, tenacity and refusal to give up despite the politics of boxing that no doubt gave little favor to the Canadian fisherman earned him revered status as a boxing legend; yet he never earned the World Championship he worked so hard for.

Most of us have stories closer to Yvon Durelle's than that of your favorite World Champ. Most of us have faced our share of challenges. Some of us have gotten a shot at the big prize only to come up short. All of us have faced times when politics and favoritism have deprived us of opportunity we might consider rightfully ours.

What did you do in those times? Did you keep punching? When you got knocked down, did you get back up? After a loss, did you climb back in the ring?

Authentic success is not a gift; it's a prize hard won with blood, sweat and tears. It's as much a process of defeat as it is winning. It's a process of surviving defeat and training for the next opponent.

There are a lot of great athletes in the boxing world. At any given time there is only one Champion. It's the same way in life and business. Your company may have a lot of great executives; there's only one CEO. There's only one captain on a ship.

If you compare yourself to others be prepared for one of two outcomes: you'll be better, or you'll be worse. Just like the contender who takes the Championship bout; you may become the Champ, you might not.

Losing a Championship does not make you a loser. Fighting for the Championship makes you a winner; every time! I'm not saying that to make you feel good, it's a fact. There can only be one Champion, but every contender has faced and defeated the best of the best to earn the shot at the title.

You may never be the Champion; you can always be a contender. That's really what life and success is all about for most of us. The important thing is to be in the fight. If you don't take the title, at least you've faced the best. Compare yourself with those who never had the courage to step in the ring!

Success isn't always about becoming the best in the world. It's always about becoming the best you can be.
After their legendary fight Archie Moore said the fisherman from Baie-Sainte-Anne was the toughest opponent he had ever faced. What will your opponents say about you? Yvon Durelle is not a household word. Among his peers and those who count his name is part of a timeless legend.

Success is living a life you can be proud of. Keep punching; keep getting back in the ring and you'll always be in contention.

That's success!

Jim Bouchard is America's Black Belt Mindset Master…speaker, media personality and author of Think Like a Black Belt (available May 2010) and Dynamic Components of Personal Power.

Jim's official amateur boxing record will forever stand at 0 wins, 1 loss. His "unsanctioned" record will never be published!

Visit JimBouchard.org!

Your Kids Are Your Own Fault

Larry Winget has written one of the most important books on parenting for our society in our time.

Yes, that Larry Winget; the bald, brash, controversial and I dare say at times engagingly abrasive speaker and author whose trademark Western shirts and cowboy boots make it seem more likely that he’d be Kinky Friedman’s next running mate than America’s next Dr. Spock.

Don’t expect the typical “how to” guide to successful parenting; Larry has not written a cookbook here. This is a direct call to action that slaps us in the face with the truth and consequences of parenting, good and bad.

“Your Kids Are Your Own Fault” is important for two reasons:

• In his own inimitable blunt style Larry reminds parents that it is your sacred obligation to parent…and to do it well.

• He addresses the ugly and sometimes painful realities facing contemporary families without flinching.

He covers it all: respect (or lack of it), personal responsibility, success, discipline and punishment. He also talks about cars, drugs, drinking and sex. Yes…sex:

“Kids are going to have sex…Am I condoning it? Am I saying that they should have sex? No. I am only saying that kids are going to have sex. Teach them responsibility, respect and safety. Talk to them…Do your job, Mom and Dad; have the talk.”

That’s typical Larry Winget advice; his overarching theme is personal responsibility. He’s become one of America’s most successful speakers and authors by telling us to “Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life,” “You’re Broke Because You Want to Be” and “It’s Called Work for a Reason; Success is Your Own Damn Fault.”

“Your Kids Are Your Own Fault” is Larry Winget in full voice. If you’re ready to take a serious look at where you are as a parent and how to handle the challenges of contemporary family life without excuses, “Your Kids Are Your Own Fault” should be in your bookcase.

Is Larry Winget qualified to write a book on parenting? First and last, he is a parent. He’s raised two sons who have become happy, successful and responsible adults. That alone wouldn’t earn my endorsement. I’ve worked with thousands of kids and parents as a professional martial arts instructor for over 20 years. I’ve seen the best of the best and some of the worst.

It’s evident from his book that Larry is one of the best, not because he didn’t make mistakes; he did and shares them candidly. I can recognize Larry’s quality as a parent because he approaches parenting as an imperfect blend of art and science. Like any other worthwhile adventure, parenting requires a continual commitment to self-improvement and change.

I’ve read dozens of books on parenting, teaching and coaching to help me become a better teacher and more important to make me a better resource to the young people and parents I serve. Too many of these are academic studies. Many approach the subject from a clinical psychological perspective or from a medical point of view. Way too many simply lack humanness and accessibility.

As he’s done with his other subjects, Larry goes for the pressure point and delivers an insightful and practical guide for becoming an effective parent. He does it with wit and a wry sense of humor that entertains, sometimes instigates, sometimes aggravates, once in a while provokes and always hits a nerve. There’s also the warm side as he shares plenty of stories from his own experience, and that of his kids, to make “Your Kids…” just a fantastic read.

Most of all, it’s honest. To this day when I have to address kids with criticism or correction, I always ask them, “Do you want me to be nice, or honest?” They always say honest. (I give adults the same option!)

Here’s a passage that really rang the bell for me:

“People tell their kids, ‘You can be whatever you want to be.’ That isn’t realistic. You should not be telling our kid that he can be whatever he wants to be. Why? Because he can’t.”

For years I’ve made two promises to my martial arts students and only two. I now make the same promises to anyone willing to learn how to Think Like a Black Belt.

1. If you’re willing to do what it takes to make it to Black Belt (or learn how to think like one), you can do whatever you want with your life…within the scope of your talents and abilities.

2. You’ll learn how to recognize and develop your talents and abilities.

Larry, thanks for the validation:

“The truth is he (your kid) can be whatever he has the basic talent for being and is willing to work hard enough to become using that talent.”

Insulting and demeaning children causes them great harm; being honest with them gives them hope, encouragement and freedom.

The only real problem I have with Winget’s book is this: he’s probably going to end up preaching to choir. That’s OK, sometimes validation is as important as education. If you consider yourself a good parent already, you’ll enjoy this book because you’re probably singing in harmony. Larry’s views on particular issues may piss you off at times; that’s his charm! But above all he’s not telling you what to do; he’s simply pointing out what needs to be done!

If you’re struggling with parenting your children; this book is essential. To paraphrase Larry, stop whining and start reading. He probably won’t solve all your problems but you’ll realize you’re not alone and you’ll either find the inspiration or instigation to make some changes.

I’m also going to recommend this book to teachers, coaches and anyone else who works with children whether you have kids of your own or not. You’re an important part of the process of “raising responsible, productive adults” in our society and Larry has started an engaging, constructive and important dialog on how we can help young people face today’s incredible challenges.

If you know someone else who is struggling with the challenges of parenthood; buy them a copy!

“Your Kids Are Your Own Fault” will help you become a Black Belt parent and earns Larry Winget the honor of Black Belt Mindset Master!



Jim Bouchard
Internationally recognized Speaker, Black Belt Mindset Master, media personality and author of Think Like a Black Belt and Dynamic Components of Personal Power!


Larry Winget appears on a very Special Episode of Black Belt Mindset PowerPOD; Tuesday, January 12th…


…also: Larry will be the special guest as Jim guest hosts Jon Hansen’s PI Window on Business on Friday, January 15th.

Be sure to join our No Spam email list at JimBouchard.org for details and updates on all events and media appearances!

I slept with Tiger Woods too…

Well, to be honest, I didn't. I'm straight, I'm happily married and I don't like golf; but this is the kind of headline that can really get you noticed these days!

That's the shame of it. Now before I go too far this is not an article on sex scandals. This is an article on acting responsibly and how acting irresponsibly can destroy your business, your brand and your personal life. More important, this is an article on what you can do to avoid the same sort of disaster that Mr. Woods has created for himself.

And that's where it starts…

You can judge Tiger's actions any way you want. The fact is that nobody forced him to go on sex romps with multiple high-profile partners and purchase group sex partners from an escort service. It's an old cliché but appropriate, Tiger made his own bed; or at least he paid good money to have his bed made up after he and his partners were done using it.

At first I thought the Tiger Woods brand was salvageable. There are three sides to every story and at best we may hear two of them. I'm not one to judge anyone for making a mistake or even for doing something stupid once in a while. Tiger's troubles appear to be much different than the average married person seeking comfort or excitement in the arms of someone other than their spouse.

Had this been a singular occurrence I may feel differently; none of us are immune from runaway emotions or lapses in judgment. Obviously Tiger was well aware of the level and seriousness of his behaviors and he chose to continue. This boils down to a personal responsibility issue. Once he decided that his gratification was to be found outside his marriage, he should have ended his marriage…or stopped his behavior.

Now for the business part:

Why do any of us have any business commenting or criticizing a private individual's behavior? Tiger Woods is not just a person, he's a commodity. He chose his life and as a commodity he has traded on his public image, persona and reputation. He marketed an image of excellence and trust that the public literally bought into. People spent their hard-earned on products and services because they trusted Tiger.

Granted, Tiger Woods is an international brand; but you have the same responsibility in your local business and marketplace. You also have the same responsibility if you're in a trusted leadership position in a major corporation or if you're the front line supervisor at a fast food restaurant. The fact is that behind every brand, every customer relationship and every business interaction there is a person. That person is you.

I'm not a branding expert; I'll leave that to my dear friend Dr. John Tantillo. In fact, you can read some of his thoughts on this subject here.

I'm a personal responsibility expert. Black Belt Mindset is about honor, respect, responsibility, excellence and leadership. It's about trust and trustworthiness. When you represent you business and your family your actions and deeds, or misdeeds, are not yours alone. Your actions affect others and it's your responsibility to take care of the other people in your life by living respectfully.

When you choose not to act respectfully or responsibility, you own the consequences.

But people make mistakes, right? That's right; and it's up to the people making the mistakes to fix them.

So far it seems that Tiger Woods is doing just that. He did not act responsibly toward his family, his sponsors or his public before his randy ways were discovered. It seems now that he recognizes the damage he's done and he is choosing to at least take some time away from his games in the bedroom and on the golf course and try to make some reparations. Personal responsibility is not always about being perfect and honor is often about atoning for past transgressions.

I'm also impressed that Tiger has not lashed out at the press or the public. Too many celebrities blame the media for their problems or criticize the public for poking their noses in where it doesn't belong. Again, if you're trading on your brand or reputation, and we all are, then our actions are to a degree open to public scrutiny. Privacy should be granted when someone is heading for the bunker to resolve their problems.

Another reason the Tiger Woods story is so compelling is the "role model" aspect. Charles Barkley was wrong; a public figure is a role model whether he likes it or not. When you're trading on your public image you are a role model. You may not be a positive role model, but other people, particularly young people will emulate your behavior. Ultimately your legacy will depend on how people perceive you and whether or not they think you're someone worth emulating.

Having said that; it's not the celebrity's fault if you decide to go out and act like a jerk too. If you're a parent it's your job to teach your children what behaviors are right and which are wrong. When a celebrity messes up it's a teachable moment. The problem with celebrity role models is when parents are not actively engaged in who their children model and what their message is. You've got to be part spy, part confident and part dictator. There's a lot of media power and peer pressure out there; your job is to sort through it and make sure your kids get the right message.

The lesson from the Tiger Woods adventure is simply this: your actions affect the lives of others. The difference between right and wrong is not usually rocket surgery; do wrong and you had better be prepared for the consequences.



Think Like a Black Belt:

• Respect means taking care of yourself and others. Before you act think about the consequences your actions will have on yourself and those around you.
  
  
• Honor means taking responsibility. When things go sour, take your medicine.
  
  
• Courage means facing up to difficult situations. It's not easy to make things right after making a mistake; it is the right thing to do.
  

I wish the best for Tiger Woods and his family. He does seem like a basically decent person who allowed himself to get caught up in the temptations of fame and fortune. For those who wish to criticize it's your right; just consider honestly whether or not you would be susceptible to similar temptations given the same exposure. If you think you might be tempted to pull a Tiger Woods, now is the time to start strengthening your resolve or reconsidering your current situation.


Jim Bouchard is an internationally recognized speaker, media personality, Black Belt Mindset Master and author of Think Like a Black Belt. Visit JimBouchard.org.

You Don’t Need Permission for Excellence

Why would you need anyone's permission to excel? Who has the right to determine your greatness?

Parents certainly have an influence. Have your parents ever told you that you're not good enough? Have they told you that you need a "fall-back" plan or that you didn't have the talent to make it? Have they reminded you that nobody else in the family ever succeeded at what you're dreaming of?

Teachers have a part. You may not be making the grades. You might not be going to the "right school." You may choose a major only to be told that nobody makes a decent living with that degree.

Coaches can do some damage too. How do you feel when you're riding the bench? What does it feel like when a coach tells you that you're simply not good enough to start or that you lack the natural abilities of the star athletes?

What about your boss? Have you ever been passed up for a raise or reprimanded for a mistake? Have you ever been held back due to office politics or had someone else take credit for your idea?

Sometimes people try to hold you back out of jealously, politics, selfishness or ignorance. Others hold you back because they're dictators, not leaders. Sometimes they're protecting their own turf and you pose a threat.

Sometimes people try to hold you back because they genuinely care about you. They might not want to see you get hurt or fail. They may really be acting with best intentions and your best interests at heart.

Sometimes the people holding you back are right! They may be experts in the adventure you've chosen and might know you simply don't have what it takes. They might honestly recognize that your talents are better suited to a different endeavor.

You don't need anyone's permission to excel. You do need talent and ability. You need desire, perseverance, courage and audacity.

I make two promises to my martial arts students. These are the only promises I'll make. I promise anyone willing to do what it takes to earn a black belt that:

• You'll be able to do anything you want with your life; within the scope of your talents and abilities.
  
• You'll learn how to recognize and cultivate your unique talents and abilities.
  

My students don't need my permission to earn a black belt. When I award a black belt I'm offering recognition and certification for their accomplishment; I'm giving them credentials. They need to grant themselves permission to be excellent. What I'm giving them is an opportunity and a platform to discover their excellence. If I'm the Wizard, I'm only giving the Scarecrow his diploma. Just like the Wizard I might have provided the challenge but he had the brains to succeed all along!

When it comes to excellence the only time you'll need someone else's permission or approval is when you ask for it…Don't!

Be realistic. Expert opinions and experience should be part of formulating your best expression of your talents and abilities, but then you've got to make your own decision. When someone with reasonable abilities fails, it's not usually due to a lack of talent. Michael Jordan was kicked off his high school basketball team; he had the talent he just hadn't done the work he needed to do to become great yet!

You should pay attention to the effect your actions will have on others. If your plans are genuinely selfish and might harm you or the people around you, you shouldn't need to ask anyone's permission. You should know enough to deny yourself.

Ask someone else for permission and there is always a chance it might not be granted. From someone else's perspective you may not be talented, deserving or good enough. They may not want you to excel.

Don't ask for permission. Take a rational look at your talents and abilities, factor in your passion and when you decide on a course of action go for it!

Ultimately, the only permission you need to achieve greatness is your own.

 

Jim Bouchard is an internationally recognized speaker, media personality and author of Think Like a Black Belt and Dynamic Components of Personal POWER! Visit JimBouchard.org!

 

No Does Sometimes Mean No…Even in Sales!

I just posted a comment to a discussion stream on LinkedIn and damned if I didn't impress myself! (It's sometimes good to be somewhat self-amused!)

 At any rate, I thought it would make a useful blog post…file this one under the BizJitsu series and watch for my new BizJitsu blog coming soon!



Conventional sales training teaches you that you should never be discouraged by the word "NO." You should be persistent and never take NO for a final answer.

NO! I'm all for perseverance and persistence but if you're hearing NO a lot you better take a look in the mirror, or better yet record (and listen to) your next sales call.

I'm going to chime in from the customer's perspective: There is such a thing as "NO" and I must say it a dozen times a week...and I DON'T want to hear from those people again!

I say NO when when the salesperson making the call has obviously done NOTHING to find out why, how or even if I would use their product or service.

I say NO when the salesperson has obviously done NOTHING to find out about me other than my name, and especially if they pronounce that wrong! We have access to the miracles of Google and LinkedIn; this should virtually elminate the cold call. Still, I get calls from people who have no idea what my specific needs and wants might be.

I say NO when the salesperson refuses to get to the point. I'm busy and while I'm the first to say (and will again in a second) that the relationship is crtical to the sale, I don't have time to listen to 30 minutes of crap about someone's kids or dogs and I don't care to unless I know them! Tell me what you're after and then we'll work on the relationship...

...having said that, the salesperson had better get to know me, and my needs and wants before making a pitch.

I say NO when I don't like the person. One of the most overlooked aspect of sales is to be a likeable person. This means to be sincerely interested in the customer's needs above the amazing benefits of your wares. Napoleon Hill and Dale Carnegie should still be required reading for all sales people.

The BizJitsu (TM) technique for minimizing negative responses is to do your homework to assure you're meeting the prospect's unique needs and desires. This is the relationship building part and it involves RESPECT for the prospect's opinions, time and budget.

If you sense a genuine NO coming at the end of the conversation; don't make the pitch! If you're not a fit, so be it! That prospect may just recommend you to someone else simply because you showed respect, sincerity and didn't waste their time. You're more likely to earn great referrals by being a likeable person; you'll never get a referral by being a pest!


BTW...I offer a workshop as part of my BizJitsu series titled:

One With the Enemy: Relationships Before Sales! If anyone is interested give me a shout at 800-786-8502 or visit JimBouchard.org to get to know me better.

If you're not interested I promise I'll never bother you!

Best thoughts!
Jim

Resolutions Suck!

It's time for my annual rant on the ineffectiveness of New Year resolutions. This year I'm adding business planning and professional development goals suck too!

"But, you've got to do it!"

Only 12% of anyone who makes resolutions makes it past the first month. How many small business people make plans or review their last plan in preparation for the New Year? Of those, how many set goals that are unattainable or unrealistic?

Since I've been teaching people how to think like black belts I can tell you've I've met too many people who either do no planning whatsoever or set goals they won't reach unless hell freezes a bridge across the River Styx.

Here are some common bullshit excuses and some no bullshit responses:

1. I don't have enough time.
   
   This is the biggest pile of bullshit excuse out there! First of all, immediately stop what you're doing and go to the bookstore…now! Buy a copy of Stephen Covey's "First Things First." Sit down and read it!
   
   Planning and goal setting is a number one priority whether you're mapping out strategy for a business or keeping your skills sharp to assure you're going to continue to be a valuable employee. You don't have the time NOT to plan!
   
   I heard this excuse from a guy who hasn't had a job in 4 years! I don't know what else he's doing with his time, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that part of the reason he's still out of work is that he doesn't have a concrete plan for getting any!
   
   
2. I don't have the money to _____________ (fill in the blank!).
   
   Steal a pen and a single piece of paper! Actually, go to any bank or real estate office and act as if you're a customer, they'll give you a promotional package that will inevitably include a branded note pad and pen.
   
   Whatever you're going to do in the coming year is dependent on the resources you have right now. You may be eating bean sandwiches, but there has never been more opportunity to accomplish so much with so little. You do need to take a realistic inventory of your current material; emotional and spiritual resources…
   
   …then you need to DO SOMETHING! Not having the money is not an excuse; it may be the beginning of your highest priority goal!
   
   Some people will use other scarcity issues as an excuse; not skilled enough, don't have the connections, no experience etc. So what? If you're lacking in some area it will be part of your plan to change that condition.
   
   
3. Things are changing too fast; there's no way to predict ___________ (fill in the blank!).
   
   Amen. Planning is not prophecy. I'll even grant that you could create the most bomb-proof plan ever created only to get blown up by a bigger, badder bomb!
   
   Planning is dynamic; it's an ongoing process. But, you've got to start somewhere. You've got to have your eyes on the horizon and you've got to develop tools for making reasonable assumptions based on actual data.
   
   That's what the planning process is all about. In addition to preparing you better for the coming year, planning helps you develop a greater awareness of the dangers and opportunities ahead.
   

So why do so many goals fall short and so many plans go unfulfilled? Here are some of the top dangers whether you're making a personal resolution or drafting your business plan:

• Unrealistic or unattainable goals. Base your plan on an accurate inventory of material, emotional and spiritual resources. This is the first part of the planning process.
  
  
• Bad data. Do your homework; make sure your inventory is accurate. Avoid taking emotional leaps. It's great to have a big idea that keeps you focused on the horizon, but remember to check the ground in front of you.
  
  
• Unspecific goals. You've got to be focused to succeed. Goals that are too broad or general are much more difficult to accomplish.
  
  
• Setbacks. Develop Black Belt Mindset; if you get knocked down seven times, get up eight! Small setbacks shouldn't derail your plans. Good planning helps you anticipate and overcome setbacks.
  

Now is the time to sit down and develop a clear picture of what you hope to accomplish in 2010. You may want to expand your business, or assure that it weathers the economic storm. You may want to expand your value in the marketplace by learning new skills or earning new certifications. You may want to prepare for your newborn's college education or your own retirement.

Whatever it is you hope to accomplish follow the example of the world's most successful people. Successful people don't wait for opportunities; they plan for them!


Additional reading:
Resolutions: Bullshit!

Resolutions SUCK! Start your New Year REVOLUTION!

"Jim Bouchard's program is a revolutionary approach to planning and goal setting!"

In New Year REVOLUTION:

• Take an accurate inventory of material, emotional and spiritual resources. For business, this inventory includes tangible and intangible assets.
  
  
• Develop specific attainable and sustainable goals based on current resources.
  
  
• Access the discipline and focus you need to accomplish your goals...even when times are tough!
  

"This may be the most important workshop you'll attend as you start your New Year!"

Book your own New Year REVOLUTION workshop featuring Jim Bouchard, author of Think Like a Black Belt! Programs for businesses, associations, chambers and meetings! Call 800-786-8502 today!

For more information visit the New Year REVOLUTION page here!

Gratitude is Not a Platitude: Part II

Let's smash a cliché. Too many gurus stand in front of too many audiences and with beaming smile and hands in the air exhort "the attitude of gratitude!"

I'm not smiling and I'm not exhorting. Gratitude is not a platitude; it's an essential daily practice. A gratitude practice is a practical technique for taking inventory of your emotional, spiritual and material resources.
Here's how it works. Take some time to simply think about the people in your life, the things you have right now and most of all your talents and abilities. These are the emotional, spiritual and material resources you have in hand to work with. Whatever you do and whatever you want to accomplish from here on starts with these resources.

Be thankful; even if some resources are scarce! The old adage that says "it can't get any worse" is a bold faced lie! I'm not a pessimist but no matter how bad things are right now, I know things can always get worse. Whatever resources you have here and now are worthy of gratitude; just think about life without them.

Chris Gardner's story "The Pursuit of Happyness" is inspirational on a number of levels. You might remember Chris played by Will Smith writing out a check. His son Christopher asks what he's doing and Chris replies, "I'm paying a parking ticket." Christopher says, "But we don't have a car anymore." Chris answers, "Ya, I know!"

What is there to be thankful for in a moment like that? Have you had times like that? I have.

I can remember waking up on cold Maine mornings in my 1050's vintage mobile home and chipping a skim of ice off the water in the toilet so I could complete my constitutional. I can remember having genuine fear over whether or not I'd have enough to eat for the rest of the week or whether the power would be shut off. I can identify with Chris Gardner because like Chris, some of my poverty was due to my pursuit of what other people might consider unattainable dreams. Mine was compounded by extremely poor choices, what Gardner calls the “being stupid” part of life.

At some point I learned to simply be grateful; even at times when happiness was only a pursuit. In Chris' story he has a son to worry about; I can remember being grateful that I didn't have kids.

What did I have to be thankful for? I had friends that cared about me. I found mentors who took a genuine interest in me and offered sound advice for changing my condition. I began to discover talents and abilities. I would later find martial arts and start to develop self-confidence. Later I'd learn how to transform some of that confidence into a sense of purpose and self-worth. Much later I'd learn how to share that value with others.

It all starts with gratitude. Before I learned how to be thankful for what I had I was completely immersed in poverty; not just material poverty but complete scarcity of emotional and spiritual resources as well.
Eventually I learned that even if I had to chip ice off my toilet, at least I wasn't sleeping outside in the snow bank. I learned to be thankful that I quit drugs before they killed me. I learned to be thankful that I had a drive to learn and work ethic that I could access to change my life.

For the sake of this story I'm condensing a process that took years; but eventually I learned to simply focus on what I have here and now. No matter how scarce, the resources I have now are the resources I have to work with to effect change and move forward. I learned that I was a pretty resourceful bastard! Given the opportunity (or the challenge), most people can be pretty resourceful. This process of focusing on what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have became my gratitude practice.

Now I'm grateful for everyone who is a part of my life. I'm grateful for the students in my martial arts program, for my friends and family and most of all for my wife Alex who indulges and supports my wild and often risky adventures. I'm grateful for my modest, warm and comfortable home. I'm grateful for the talents and abilities I've discovered. I'm particularly grateful for the places I've seen and the wonderful adventures I've had.

I could still use a quick and bountiful cash infusion, but who couldn't? When it comes, I'll be grateful!
Your gratitude practice can be as formal as a prayer or period of meditation or reflection. You can sit down and actually do an inventory of material, emotional and spiritual assets. Whatever you do make it a regular part of your life.

My practice is simple. I just take some time throughout the day to say thank you; and it works!

Spectators, Voyeurs and Cowards

No attempts at literary cuteness today:

The actions, or rather inactions of the spectators, voyeurs and cowards who watched a young woman raped in Richmond, California have left me sick to my stomach.

Have we raised a generation of spectators? Over 20 kids watched one of their own brutally assaulted for more than two hours. Only one young woman had even the decency to call the police?

The kid who dropped the dime is being made out a hero. I'll give you this; she did the right thing. I'm not diminishing the quality of her action; I'm sure she had to consider retribution from her peers. Still it's sad that we consider the most obvious and fundament action we'd expect in this situation an act of heroism.

As a professional in the self-defense industry I'd be the first to give a pass to anyone who might fear getting physically involved in stopping an attack like this. The least you can and should do is call for help. Had any of these kids jumped in and pulled the rapists from their victims I'd certainly acknowledge their courage and heroism.

Those who watched, and photographed, and texted their friends while the rape was still going on are cowards. These kids are a waste of food. My first impulse is to sentence all of them to a televised re-run of the incident with each of them in the featured role.

I had to do some work and some soul-searching to find compassion for the kids who stood by and watched. The fact is that by our legal standards, they had no obligation to help. We've enabled a generation of spectators. We've taught young people to stay out of it, mind their own business, and not get involved. We've told them that someone else's problem is, well, someone else's problem. We've enabled kids to blame others for their behaviors and blame others for their crimes. We've crippled them with entitlements and excused their lack of personal responsibility.

Then I remembered the kids I work with every day. Kids who come to martial arts classes day after day; work hard and focus on improving themselves; kids who understand that respect means taking care of one another and that it's their responsibility to do so. These kids know that the absence of fear is stupidity and that courage is acting in the face of it.

I like to think that most kids would have tried to stop this rape. Most kids would have called the cops.
What's the difference? Why would some kids, and adults for that matter, put themselves in harm's way to protect someone else while others are content, even entertained to stand by and watch?

We've got to stop blaming media, schools and government for these problems. It's time to hold ourselves accountable as parents, teachers and neighbors. It's time to provide the best possible examples we can and insist on discipline, focus, respect and courage from ourselves.

We've got to teach these values early and often. We've got to indoctrinate young people with positive values and role models in order to inoculate them from the insanity we've tolerated for way too long. We're not going to win this war through appeasement, we've got to stay in the fight and make sure our young people are strong enough to face the battle; this war never ends.

We've got to return to the fundamental teaching that sometimes you've got do what might be painful, difficult or dangerous for no other reason than it's the right thing to do.

It's not for me to forgive the young men and women who treated an actual rape like a reality TV show. I hope that for her own health and sanity the victim can find forgiveness for them. I want to stay good and pissed off. I'm hoping this energy will help me stay focused on the important job of training young men and women, and adult men and women, to live a life of discipline, personal responsibility and courage.
These days that's not always an easy job. It is the right thing to do.

Article on reaction to Richmond High rape from Contra Costa Times...

Video on classmates and the young woman who called police from FOX News...

BizJitsu Techniques for dealing with Fear

Fear, doubt and complacency are the components of the Failure Triangle. In personal life we can afford some time to work through these issues; in business we better grab these problems by the ears and kick them in the ass.

It's perfectly natural to have some genuine fears when you're in business. If you're a business owner, entrepreneur, executive or manager you've chosen a life that involves risk; with risk comes fear.

Fear is a natural human emotion. Fear is designed to protect you from unwarranted dangers; it's a survival mechanism. Fear also keeps you from making stupid mistakes or taking foolish risks.

The fact is too many people think that courage is the absence of fear. The absence of fear is stupidity, not courage. Courage is your ability to face fear and take action despite your fear when necessary and warranted. Of course the line between foolishness and bravery is different for everyone. The entrepreneur is by nature a risk-taker; your risk tolerance may in your mind be calculated when others are telling you that you're nuts!

Fear causes inertia. Inertia left unchecked can deteriorate rapidly into complacency. When I'm talking about inertia I'm talking about letting a particular fear stop you from taking action that's necessary to move you forward.

• You put off making a difficult sales call.
  
• You delay an important decision for fear of making a mistake.
  
• You reschedule a difficult performance review.
  

In each of these situations doing nothing is probably less painful in the short term. The problem is that the longer you allow fear to paralyze you, the more likely the eventual consequence will be magnified.

BizJitsu Technique #1: Grappling!

Sometimes you've just got to get into your fighting stance and engage the enemy. This is close quarters combat. You're got to be willing to go to the ground. Of course this is easier said than done.

In order to be an effective grappler you've got to train. The more you train the more control you'll have over your fear. The fact is that a lot of fears are caused by a lack of preparation. Be honest and ask yourself if you're really ready for combat. If not; is this fear the legitimate result of a lack of preparation and training on your part?

• Have you done all the research you can on a new prospect?
  
• Have you done your due diligence and weighed all the options before you make a big decision?
  

BizJitsu Technique #2: Leverage!

Sometimes you've got to gain an advantage over your opponent. You can't fight strength against strength.

What I mean is that if your opponent is stronger than you; you've got to gain advantage by finding a point of leverage that will increase your power.

You can find leverage by seeking the advice and support of others who have faced similar fears. Leverage your network, peer groups, trade association colleagues and the people on your direct team.

Too many business leaders try to manage fears solo. If you want to motivate your team in difficult situations; share the problem with them and solicit their support as part of the solution. Leverage the power and energy of your entire organization to help you gain advantage over the fear you're facing and move forward.

BizJitsu Technique #3: Be one with the enemy!

Underlying almost all fears is the fear of failure. I'm not going to lay any trite platitudes on you; the fact is that failure is a necessary and inevitable part of the business process. It's just part of life.

You can play semantic games and say that failures are really just lessons; failure still sucks. The fear of failure sucks even worse. The fear of failure can cause a self-perpetuating downward spiral that can become debilitating if left unchecked.

So what do you do?

Accept failure, embrace it! Be one with this enemy!

Failure is just part of the human experience. There's no greater legitimate human fear than that of losing your own life. Can you imagine what was in the minds of the Apollo 13 astronauts when they heard and felt the explosion as they continued to speed away from the earth faster than a bullet? Can you imagine what was felt in the chests of all the engineers, mission control personnel and vendors that worked on the Apollo team?

It would have been perfectly understandable if fear had paralyzed anyone on the Apollo 13 team. Instead they accepted whatever circumstances and conditions they were dealing with and re-focused on overcoming whatever problems they faced. They quickly integrated failure after failure into their collective experience in faster than real time. This experience opened them up to the possibilities and solutions that would bring the astronauts home.

In the middle of the entire mess Flight Director Gene Krantz delivered his now immortal directive, "Failure is not an option!" His friends and colleagues were in that spacecraft. I'm sure we can all appreciate the fear that Krantz and his team faced. Instead of allowing fear to stop them; they worked the problem and transformed every failure into the solution that would prevent ultimate "Failure" with a capital "F."

Fear is a natural and essential part of our human experience. Part of the problem is that so far as we know, we're the only creature on earth that can intellectual consider the outcomes of our actions, or inactions, in the greater scheme of the impact those actions will have on our future and the lives of others. Your thoughts and actions transcend instinctive behavior; we consider the possible consequences of our actions and it makes sense that this process can sometimes cause understandable fear and trepidation.

You can also transcend the paralyzing effects of fear. Of course, this requires discipline and training. If you want to become better at facing and overcoming fear, it starts with small, attainable, actionable steps. Condition yourself by accepting ever increasing challenges and facing greater fears just as you'd add weights to a bar bell to slowly build your biceps.

Most of all remember that you're not alone! Fear seems to be the most isolating emotion; yet it's difficult to imagine any fear that hasn't been faced by someone else, and likely someone you know.

As a leader you may eventually have to act alone; and you're likely to bear sole responsibility for the consequences of that action. Never be afraid to call on others to help you prepare to take that action.

Jim Bouchard will train you and your team in BizJitsu: The Art of the Business Warrior! Call 800-786-8502 and visit JimBouchard.org for more information on BizJitsu and all of Jim's speaking, coaching and training services.




Note: Anxiety can be a debilitating mental illness that should be distinguished from the ordinary, albeit serious issue of fear discussed in this article. If you feel you may be dealing with authentic anxiety issues you should consult a qualified medical psychological professional.

Puff the Magic Dragon…

…lives by the sea; and so do most of the assholes that try to sell you get rich quick schemes, wealth without effort, manifesting secrets etc, etc, etc.

They live in Boca Raton, Fort Lauderdale and San Diego. Some live in the mountains and lush desert resorts, but you get the point. All I'm saying is that if they're living the high life it's probably due to much more than just wishing, and hoping, and manifesting, and positive thinking. Once in a while someone wins the lottery, but most of the recipe for success consists of 10 parts hard work with equal parts failure, frustration, disappointment, doubt and fear blended vigorously.

Oh, and some of the assholes I've seen in this world simply inherited money from their parents and haven't blown it all yet. If they're good marketeers they may even expand their inheritance several fold. It's easy to "go with the flow" when you were born on the river of plenty. By the way; you can sell anything if you've got enough capital to sustain a global marketing campaign.

Before I launch into my tirade; there is something to be said for "going with the flow." If you're relatively relaxed, open to new ideas and experiences and enjoy a relatively balance life you're going to be healthier, more engaged and more energetic. Your brain will generally work better so you'll make better decisions. You'll see abundance and opportunity where others might see scarcity and danger.

My mission today is to make sure you don't throw good money down the tubes on teachers, seminars, books and DVDs that promise to reveal the secret technique to success, health and wealth.

If you really want some secrets, here they are for free:

• Find someone who was successful doing what you want to do. Do what he did.
  
• Once you fully commit to a goal; keep going until you reach it.
  
• Accept failure as part of the game.
  
• Recognize small successes along the way and reward yourself for them.
  
• Do the right thing and you'll always feel better than you would if you did the wrong thing.
  
• Two heads might not be better than one, but two brains are. Make sure to surround yourself with good brains.
  
• Treat people with respect. All people; those above you, below you and around you.
  
• Work really, really, really hard.
  
• If you really want the easy life, find something you really love to do and work really, really, really hard at that.
  
• Give unconditionally; especially love, respect and wisdom. Giving is what you do now; rewards are what might come later.
  
• You're not entitled to anything but opportunity.
  
• Be here, right now and enjoy.
  

I may have just saved you several thousand dollars and many hours of study and research! That's how I learned these secrets. Many of these secrets came to me from ancient martial arts masters who were experts at doing things very well and maximizing human potential. Others I learned from generous teachers, bosses, mentors, peers and small children.

So…I'm saying you should never buy motivational books, attend self-help conferences or watch inspirational videos, right?

Wrong. I also learned many of these "secrets" from seminars, videos, great speakers and my Dashboard University.

Invest as much time and money as you're comfortable with on books, programs and seminars. Just be sure you're spending with your head and not just your heart; particularly when your heart is empty. Moments of emotional, spiritual and material poverty and desperation are not the best times to commit resources you don't have on promises that may or may not be realized. You may have more fundamental work to do first.

Make sure your expectations are realistic and that your motivation is internalized and sustainable. Start with a practical inventory of your resources and invest your time, money and energy based on a rational assessment of your current position. I encourage big goals and grand adventures; just be sure you prepare and provision for the expedition!

Finally, beware of the bullshitters! There is no authentic success without hard work. These days the most co-opted and exploited philosophy is the Law of Attraction. Can you really expect to manifest wealth by cosmically aligning your energy fields and mental state with the quantum field of the universe? Is the universe really some kind of psycho-metaphysical vending machine?

Come on. Think about some of these claims and apply your bullshit detector.

The Law of Attraction does work. You do tend to attract more opportunities when you're in a positive frame of mind. Negativity is blinding and narrowing. Positivity opens you to possibility which in turn improves probability of success. If you're a positive, creative and energetic person you're likely to find other positive, creative and energetic people; and those are the people who get the work done!

The Law of Attraction, however, is dependent on one ancient principle the great Chinese philosophers called "kung fu."

A good translation is: WORK.

The Law of Attraction is an action philosophy. At least that's what Napoleon Hill taught and he was the one who coined the phrase. The Law of Attraction is the result of a process of self-perfection. Making yourself a better person creates value for yourself and those around you. People are attracted to you because you offer greater value when you're a better person. You're open to greater opportunities because you train yourself to recognize them and you're constantly preparing to take advantage of them.

Self-perfection is hard and endless work. Enjoy it; it's worth it!

Here's what you should reasonably expect from motivational teachers, seminars, books and other materials.

• Inspiration and stories that motivate you to action. The first action is to internalize the motivation.
  
• Examples for what to do and how to do it.
  
• Systems and techniques that may make your journey to success more efficient or less painful.
  
• Validation of feelings of pain, suffering, frustration and failure. The knowledge that you're not alone and that successful people have these same feelings.
  
• Encouragement to continue on your path if it's the right one.
  

If you're willing to invest blood, sweat and tears along with a few bucks, then find a teacher, coach, book or seminar that makes sense to you and go for it!

If you're looking for a shortcut to fame and fortune; go to Vegas; you've got just as much of a shot as anyone else.

Jim Bouchard
Speaker, life-coach and author of Think Like a Black Belt and Dynamic Components of Personal POWER!
www.JimBouchard.org