Your Kids Are Your Own Fault

Larry Winget has written one of the most important books on parenting for our society in our time.

Yes, that Larry Winget; the bald, brash, controversial and I dare say at times engagingly abrasive speaker and author whose trademark Western shirts and cowboy boots make it seem more likely that he’d be Kinky Friedman’s next running mate than America’s next Dr. Spock.

Don’t expect the typical “how to” guide to successful parenting; Larry has not written a cookbook here. This is a direct call to action that slaps us in the face with the truth and consequences of parenting, good and bad.

“Your Kids Are Your Own Fault” is important for two reasons:

• In his own inimitable blunt style Larry reminds parents that it is your sacred obligation to parent…and to do it well.

• He addresses the ugly and sometimes painful realities facing contemporary families without flinching.

He covers it all: respect (or lack of it), personal responsibility, success, discipline and punishment. He also talks about cars, drugs, drinking and sex. Yes…sex:

“Kids are going to have sex…Am I condoning it? Am I saying that they should have sex? No. I am only saying that kids are going to have sex. Teach them responsibility, respect and safety. Talk to them…Do your job, Mom and Dad; have the talk.”

That’s typical Larry Winget advice; his overarching theme is personal responsibility. He’s become one of America’s most successful speakers and authors by telling us to “Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life,” “You’re Broke Because You Want to Be” and “It’s Called Work for a Reason; Success is Your Own Damn Fault.”

“Your Kids Are Your Own Fault” is Larry Winget in full voice. If you’re ready to take a serious look at where you are as a parent and how to handle the challenges of contemporary family life without excuses, “Your Kids Are Your Own Fault” should be in your bookcase.

Is Larry Winget qualified to write a book on parenting? First and last, he is a parent. He’s raised two sons who have become happy, successful and responsible adults. That alone wouldn’t earn my endorsement. I’ve worked with thousands of kids and parents as a professional martial arts instructor for over 20 years. I’ve seen the best of the best and some of the worst.

It’s evident from his book that Larry is one of the best, not because he didn’t make mistakes; he did and shares them candidly. I can recognize Larry’s quality as a parent because he approaches parenting as an imperfect blend of art and science. Like any other worthwhile adventure, parenting requires a continual commitment to self-improvement and change.

I’ve read dozens of books on parenting, teaching and coaching to help me become a better teacher and more important to make me a better resource to the young people and parents I serve. Too many of these are academic studies. Many approach the subject from a clinical psychological perspective or from a medical point of view. Way too many simply lack humanness and accessibility.

As he’s done with his other subjects, Larry goes for the pressure point and delivers an insightful and practical guide for becoming an effective parent. He does it with wit and a wry sense of humor that entertains, sometimes instigates, sometimes aggravates, once in a while provokes and always hits a nerve. There’s also the warm side as he shares plenty of stories from his own experience, and that of his kids, to make “Your Kids…” just a fantastic read.

Most of all, it’s honest. To this day when I have to address kids with criticism or correction, I always ask them, “Do you want me to be nice, or honest?” They always say honest. (I give adults the same option!)

Here’s a passage that really rang the bell for me:

“People tell their kids, ‘You can be whatever you want to be.’ That isn’t realistic. You should not be telling our kid that he can be whatever he wants to be. Why? Because he can’t.”

For years I’ve made two promises to my martial arts students and only two. I now make the same promises to anyone willing to learn how to Think Like a Black Belt.

1. If you’re willing to do what it takes to make it to Black Belt (or learn how to think like one), you can do whatever you want with your life…within the scope of your talents and abilities.

2. You’ll learn how to recognize and develop your talents and abilities.

Larry, thanks for the validation:

“The truth is he (your kid) can be whatever he has the basic talent for being and is willing to work hard enough to become using that talent.”

Insulting and demeaning children causes them great harm; being honest with them gives them hope, encouragement and freedom.

The only real problem I have with Winget’s book is this: he’s probably going to end up preaching to choir. That’s OK, sometimes validation is as important as education. If you consider yourself a good parent already, you’ll enjoy this book because you’re probably singing in harmony. Larry’s views on particular issues may piss you off at times; that’s his charm! But above all he’s not telling you what to do; he’s simply pointing out what needs to be done!

If you’re struggling with parenting your children; this book is essential. To paraphrase Larry, stop whining and start reading. He probably won’t solve all your problems but you’ll realize you’re not alone and you’ll either find the inspiration or instigation to make some changes.

I’m also going to recommend this book to teachers, coaches and anyone else who works with children whether you have kids of your own or not. You’re an important part of the process of “raising responsible, productive adults” in our society and Larry has started an engaging, constructive and important dialog on how we can help young people face today’s incredible challenges.

If you know someone else who is struggling with the challenges of parenthood; buy them a copy!

“Your Kids Are Your Own Fault” will help you become a Black Belt parent and earns Larry Winget the honor of Black Belt Mindset Master!



Jim Bouchard
Internationally recognized Speaker, Black Belt Mindset Master, media personality and author of Think Like a Black Belt and Dynamic Components of Personal Power!


Larry Winget appears on a very Special Episode of Black Belt Mindset PowerPOD; Tuesday, January 12th…


…also: Larry will be the special guest as Jim guest hosts Jon Hansen’s PI Window on Business on Friday, January 15th.

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