Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I slept with Tiger Woods too…


Well, to be honest, I didn't. I'm straight, I'm happily married and I don't like golf; but this is the kind of headline that can really get you noticed these days!

That's the shame of it. Now before I go too far this is not an article on sex scandals. This is an article on acting responsibly and how acting irresponsibly can destroy your business, your brand and your personal life. More important, this is an article on what you can do to avoid the same sort of disaster that Mr. Woods has created for himself.

And that's where it starts…

You can judge Tiger's actions any way you want. The fact is that nobody forced him to go on sex romps with multiple high-profile partners and purchase group sex partners from an escort service. It's an old cliché but appropriate, Tiger made his own bed; or at least he paid good money to have his bed made up after he and his partners were done using it.

At first I thought the Tiger Woods brand was salvageable. There are three sides to every story and at best we may hear two of them. I'm not one to judge anyone for making a mistake or even for doing something stupid once in a while. Tiger's troubles appear to be much different than the average married person seeking comfort or excitement in the arms of someone other than their spouse.

Had this been a singular occurrence I may feel differently; none of us are immune from runaway emotions or lapses in judgment. Obviously Tiger was well aware of the level and seriousness of his behaviors and he chose to continue. This boils down to a personal responsibility issue. Once he decided that his gratification was to be found outside his marriage, he should have ended his marriage…or stopped his behavior.

Now for the business part:

Why do any of us have any business commenting or criticizing a private individual's behavior? Tiger Woods is not just a person, he's a commodity. He chose his life and as a commodity he has traded on his public image, persona and reputation. He marketed an image of excellence and trust that the public literally bought into. People spent their hard-earned on products and services because they trusted Tiger.

Granted, Tiger Woods is an international brand; but you have the same responsibility in your local business and marketplace. You also have the same responsibility if you're in a trusted leadership position in a major corporation or if you're the front line supervisor at a fast food restaurant. The fact is that behind every brand, every customer relationship and every business interaction there is a person. That person is you.

I'm not a branding expert; I'll leave that to my dear friend Dr. John Tantillo. In fact, you can read some of his thoughts on this subject here.

I'm a personal responsibility expert. Black Belt Mindset is about honor, respect, responsibility, excellence and leadership. It's about trust and trustworthiness. When you represent you business and your family your actions and deeds, or misdeeds, are not yours alone. Your actions affect others and it's your responsibility to take care of the other people in your life by living respectfully.

When you choose not to act respectfully or responsibility, you own the consequences.

But people make mistakes, right? That's right; and it's up to the people making the mistakes to fix them.

So far it seems that Tiger Woods is doing just that. He did not act responsibly toward his family, his sponsors or his public before his randy ways were discovered. It seems now that he recognizes the damage he's done and he is choosing to at least take some time away from his games in the bedroom and on the golf course and try to make some reparations. Personal responsibility is not always about being perfect and honor is often about atoning for past transgressions.

I'm also impressed that Tiger has not lashed out at the press or the public. Too many celebrities blame the media for their problems or criticize the public for poking their noses in where it doesn't belong. Again, if you're trading on your brand or reputation, and we all are, then our actions are to a degree open to public scrutiny. Privacy should be granted when someone is heading for the bunker to resolve their problems.

Another reason the Tiger Woods story is so compelling is the "role model" aspect. Charles Barkley was wrong; a public figure is a role model whether he likes it or not. When you're trading on your public image you are a role model. You may not be a positive role model, but other people, particularly young people will emulate your behavior. Ultimately your legacy will depend on how people perceive you and whether or not they think you're someone worth emulating.

Having said that; it's not the celebrity's fault if you decide to go out and act like a jerk too. If you're a parent it's your job to teach your children what behaviors are right and which are wrong. When a celebrity messes up it's a teachable moment. The problem with celebrity role models is when parents are not actively engaged in who their children model and what their message is. You've got to be part spy, part confident and part dictator. There's a lot of media power and peer pressure out there; your job is to sort through it and make sure your kids get the right message.

The lesson from the Tiger Woods adventure is simply this: your actions affect the lives of others. The difference between right and wrong is not usually rocket surgery; do wrong and you had better be prepared for the consequences.



Think Like a Black Belt:
  • Respect means taking care of yourself and others. Before you act think about the consequences your actions will have on yourself and those around you.

  • Honor means taking responsibility. When things go sour, take your medicine.

  • Courage means facing up to difficult situations. It's not easy to make things right after making a mistake; it is the right thing to do.
I wish the best for Tiger Woods and his family. He does seem like a basically decent person who allowed himself to get caught up in the temptations of fame and fortune. For those who wish to criticize it's your right; just consider honestly whether or not you would be susceptible to similar temptations given the same exposure. If you think you might be tempted to pull a Tiger Woods, now is the time to start strengthening your resolve or reconsidering your current situation.


Jim Bouchard is an internationally recognized speaker, media personality, Black Belt Mindset Master and author of Think Like a Black Belt. Visit JimBouchard.org.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So many groupies follow pro athletes that a man would have to be a saint not to have sex with some, if not many, of them. Woods chose to become a public figure in American life by representing Nike and other corporations through the use of his face and name, and by his establishment of the Tiger Woods Foundation. Thus, it is the brand that is demolished--a person can reinvent themselves many times over whereas the brand is permanently stained. He is not unique--he is another Kobe Bryant or Wilt Chamberlain, Mickey Mantle, in other words, just like the rest of them.