Gratitude is Not a Platitude: Part II

Let's smash a cliché. Too many gurus stand in front of too many audiences and with beaming smile and hands in the air exhort "the attitude of gratitude!"

I'm not smiling and I'm not exhorting. Gratitude is not a platitude; it's an essential daily practice. A gratitude practice is a practical technique for taking inventory of your emotional, spiritual and material resources.
Here's how it works. Take some time to simply think about the people in your life, the things you have right now and most of all your talents and abilities. These are the emotional, spiritual and material resources you have in hand to work with. Whatever you do and whatever you want to accomplish from here on starts with these resources.

Be thankful; even if some resources are scarce! The old adage that says "it can't get any worse" is a bold faced lie! I'm not a pessimist but no matter how bad things are right now, I know things can always get worse. Whatever resources you have here and now are worthy of gratitude; just think about life without them.

Chris Gardner's story "The Pursuit of Happyness" is inspirational on a number of levels. You might remember Chris played by Will Smith writing out a check. His son Christopher asks what he's doing and Chris replies, "I'm paying a parking ticket." Christopher says, "But we don't have a car anymore." Chris answers, "Ya, I know!"

What is there to be thankful for in a moment like that? Have you had times like that? I have.

I can remember waking up on cold Maine mornings in my 1050's vintage mobile home and chipping a skim of ice off the water in the toilet so I could complete my constitutional. I can remember having genuine fear over whether or not I'd have enough to eat for the rest of the week or whether the power would be shut off. I can identify with Chris Gardner because like Chris, some of my poverty was due to my pursuit of what other people might consider unattainable dreams. Mine was compounded by extremely poor choices, what Gardner calls the “being stupid” part of life.

At some point I learned to simply be grateful; even at times when happiness was only a pursuit. In Chris' story he has a son to worry about; I can remember being grateful that I didn't have kids.

What did I have to be thankful for? I had friends that cared about me. I found mentors who took a genuine interest in me and offered sound advice for changing my condition. I began to discover talents and abilities. I would later find martial arts and start to develop self-confidence. Later I'd learn how to transform some of that confidence into a sense of purpose and self-worth. Much later I'd learn how to share that value with others.

It all starts with gratitude. Before I learned how to be thankful for what I had I was completely immersed in poverty; not just material poverty but complete scarcity of emotional and spiritual resources as well.
Eventually I learned that even if I had to chip ice off my toilet, at least I wasn't sleeping outside in the snow bank. I learned to be thankful that I quit drugs before they killed me. I learned to be thankful that I had a drive to learn and work ethic that I could access to change my life.

For the sake of this story I'm condensing a process that took years; but eventually I learned to simply focus on what I have here and now. No matter how scarce, the resources I have now are the resources I have to work with to effect change and move forward. I learned that I was a pretty resourceful bastard! Given the opportunity (or the challenge), most people can be pretty resourceful. This process of focusing on what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have became my gratitude practice.

Now I'm grateful for everyone who is a part of my life. I'm grateful for the students in my martial arts program, for my friends and family and most of all for my wife Alex who indulges and supports my wild and often risky adventures. I'm grateful for my modest, warm and comfortable home. I'm grateful for the talents and abilities I've discovered. I'm particularly grateful for the places I've seen and the wonderful adventures I've had.

I could still use a quick and bountiful cash infusion, but who couldn't? When it comes, I'll be grateful!
Your gratitude practice can be as formal as a prayer or period of meditation or reflection. You can sit down and actually do an inventory of material, emotional and spiritual assets. Whatever you do make it a regular part of your life.

My practice is simple. I just take some time throughout the day to say thank you; and it works!