How DO You Boost Self-Esteem?

February is National Boost Your Self-Esteem Month! For more information and tools for esteem building visit JimBouchard.org!

You cannot "gift" self-esteem. Self-esteem can only be developed the old fashioned way; you have to earn it!
The formula is simple; not always easy. Think about the times in your life when you really felt a charge of self-esteem or self-worth:

• When you complete a big goal.
• When you do something really tough and see it all the way through.
• When you face a major challenge or adversity and succeed…or survive!
• When someone else recognized you for a job well done.

The best way to boost self-esteem is to take on some worthwhile, maybe even difficult challenge and see it through. Obviously self-esteem is boosted when you're successful, but you can also increase self-esteem by staying in a difficult fight whether you win or lose.

Challenge is the critical component. Does checking off some small or easy task on your list really boost your self-esteem? It may feel good to knock off some mundane task, but confidence and self-worth really comes from facing a meaningful challenge. The great thing is that these challenges are all around you:

• Take a college course or professional development seminar.
• Volunteer for a role outside your normal comfort zone.
• Set a challenging business or personal development goal and go for it.
• Learn something new; start learning a musical instrument or a new language.

The other important component in self-esteem is your perception of how other people see you. It's not always nice or easy, but it's the truth. Your self-esteem is sometimes affected by the opinions of others. I'm not encouraging you to become an egomaniac, but to a degree you've got to decide how other people's perceptions about you are going to affect your self-esteem. There's a vast difference between rationally processing other people's useful input and letting other people either build you up with false praise or knock you down with unprovoked attacks.

The most obvious boost to self-esteem originating from others is when you're recognized for a job well done or a significant contribution. But self-esteem cannot be "gifted," right? Still right! When you're recognized for your accomplishments remember that you're the one who did something worthy of that recognition. You have to train yourself to recognize and accept success.

Of course recognition for just showing up it does nothing for self-esteem! That's why we shouldn't be handing out trophies for losers! Harsh, but true! Most people (especially kids!) know when they're getting something for nothing, and that does nothing for self-esteem. It does quite the opposite; it causes you to question why you're being honored and usually results in feelings of unworthiness.

Be careful though…honorable mention is sometimes an honorable recognition! I always like to watch the last runners coming in at a marathon. These are the people who survive the race despite injuries and disabilities. I love to see someone literally dragging himself across the finish line 4 hours after the leaders. That guy deserves recognition; he could have quit! The honor is for finishing something most of us would consider impossible, not just for showing up on race day.

I just watched the 2010 "X-Games." There was a crash during the extreme snowmobile races; it looked to me like one of the racers broke his leg. I was amazed that the driver was continuing with the bottom part of his left leg flapping in the breeze! He pulled off the track where it became obvious that he didn't break his leg…he lost it! His prosthetic leg had come loose during the crash and his assistants were working frantically to get his leg back on and finish the race…and he did!

This guy earned his trophy! Instead of quitting he put his leg back on and finished. I hope he feels great about himself; he should! This racer's name is Mike Shultz. (Read more about Mike Shultz here!) Shultz earned whatever trophies he might earn the day he decided to get back on his sled with half his left leg missing!

I've had many great successes in my life. It took me a long time to learn how to recognize or accept success, even when other people were recognizing me for that success. Recognition can boost self-esteem if:

• The recognition is for genuine accomplishment.
• It comes from a credible source.
• You're receptive!

I've had many "Wayne's World" moments in my life. That's when someone offers genuine praise and I respond with my "I'm not worthy" chant. It's important to sort hollow praise from the noise, but when someone really notices when you do something remarkable, just say "thank you!" You see, the acceptance of genuine recognition is an action in itself; an important action in the self-esteem boosting process.

If recognition doesn't come, be ready to encourage yourself! Recognition is nice, but not necessary.

Here are three simple (not easy!) steps to help you boost your self-esteem:

• Find a meaningful challenge and go for it.
• Recognize the value of your success or your genuine effort.
• Accept recognition from credible sources.

Genuine self-esteem is not egotistical or selfish. It's synonymous with "confidence," an important quality of Black Belt Mindset. Knowing your own qualities and developing some surety in your ability to face challenges is an important value to yourself, but also the people around you. A more confident you is a greater resource to the important people in your life and to your community at large.

Boosting your self-esteem is a worthy goal for this month. The world needs a more confident you!

I'll post more about self-esteem throughout the month!


Want to start the process of boosting self-esteem in your life now? Get your copy of Dynamic Components of Personal POWER and your Power 101 audio program today!