Not yet, but it's on life support!
The value of personal responsibility is certainly threatened today. Saving it is really up to you, and me.
Before I go off on this rant, it's important to note that there are people in genuine need and there's nothing wrong with asking for help. There is something insanely wrong when that help becomes an entitlement and the generosity of others is repaid by petulance instead of gratitude.
Our culture's radical departure from personal responsibility has become a major issue as our economy struggles to staunch the bleeding. The pending mortgage assistance program has raised temperatures across the country as some people start to position themselves for assistance and others condemn borrowers who simply got in over their heads.
The fact is some good people who did everything the right way are in trouble. It's also a fact that too many people willingly borrowed way beyond their means and set themselves up for disaster. A lot of people are likely to lose their homes over the next few months no matter what type of program is in place, but unless we return quickly to some fundamental values in our society we're likely to lose much more than our homes.
If you made the deal; you're responsible. It wasn't long ago that we were screaming about aggressive credit card companies pushing us over the cliff of unsecured debt. Now we've done the same thing with our houses. The fact is that nobody held a gun to your head and told you to apply for a new Capital One card and nobody threatened your life if you didn't sign that ARM on your house. You signed the papers, you made the deal, you owe the money.
On the other hand, the lender is responsible for his end of the bargain as well. You aggressively loaned money to people you knew were in way over their heads. You designed loan programs without income verification. You created no-money down programs and leveraged your assets on interest-only products. If you made a bad loan, tough.
If you're fat, get your fat ass to a gym. That's a harsh one, eh? There are people who are suffering from obesity due to medical conditions outside their control; I've met one or two in my lifetime. That's all, only one or two. The vast majority of people who are obese do one of two simple things completely wrong: they eat too much or exercise too little; end of story.
Believe it or not I do have an understanding of how difficult it is for some people to control their weight. As a martial arts instructor I work with people dealing with this issue all the time. I can tell you that the only people who are successful in this area are those who accept full responsibility for their own health.
Suing McDonald's does nothing to curb your appetite.
And...whether it's right or wrong blaming societal pressures does nothing to help yourself either. The fact is that nobody can live up to the popular ideals for body type, weight and beauty. Look what happens when celebrities are caught without their make-up, with their pants down (or off!) or in a moment of emotional vulnerability.
It's up to you to design a life satisfying to you. Your feeling trumps size and shape at all times. An overall feeling of health is what's important; some people are genetically predisposed to be bigger or smaller than others. People who feel good about themselves are always more attractive and powerful than those who don't no matter what they look like. That feeling comes from within and nobody can do it for you!
I don't think it's any of my business to tell you what to eat or force you to exercise if you don't want to. It's also not my responsibility to take care of you if you don't want to take care of yourself. We could say the same for smoking, having unprotected sex or producing children you can't take of.
When someone helps you be grateful; you owe them that. People were given hotel rooms to live in for more than a year after the hurricane Katrina. To be fair, some of these people were extremely grateful and truly appreciated the help; not many of the grateful people stayed in this donated housing for the entire term. Some others were angry that they were being asked to leave after more than a year of free housing; they destroyed the hotel property and protested bitterly about being evicted.
I once listened to a woman go on a tirade about how the state was "screwing her" by threatening to stop her aid to dependent children. The reason? Her deadbeat ex-husband number 3 had moved into her apartment violating the provisions of her assistance program. This woman produced 5 kids by 3 different men. The state was further screwing her by giving her a full scholarship at a community college, paying for her membership at a fitness center to keep her healthy, providing food stamps and paying healthcare expenses for her and her children. Yes, this does in reality happen in many cases.
Screwing her? The appropriate words would be "thank you!"
Why I lack compassion for these people: The fact is I don't; I have a great deal of compassion for them. I've also learned that compassion can sometimes be a mask for cowardice. It's sometimes more compassionate to remind someone of their obligations than to bail them out. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life; keep giving him fish and you better get a bigger boat!
Gratitude is not a platitude; or just a nice slogan to sell self-help books and inane posters. Gratitude is an empowering process that helps you recognize the resources you have to work with here and now; even when those resources are scarce. At any given moment you might be in a serious state of deficit in material, emotional and spiritual resources but you had better take inventory of what you've got; that's what you're going to use to start the process of creating the rest of your life.
Gratitude reflects personal responsibility. It's your obligation to return kindness, charity or even simple thoughtfulness with gratitude. Gratitude is the first step in the process of recognizing your part in returning that kindness, charity or thoughtfulness if not directly, then to the world at large.
Personal responsibility is the foundation of success and prosperity. Entitlement is crippling to individual spirit, energy and freedom. The fact is that in an entitlement driven culture the only abundance is the abundance of scarcity, resentment and servitude. It's not easy to be responsible for yourself but it is the price of freedom. Personal responsibility is the cornerstone of independence and personal power and liberty.
The American founders specified only 3 inalienable rights:
- Life.
- Liberty.
- The pursuit of happiness.
These three inalienable rights point to only one authentic entitlement: the entitlement of opportunity. When you surrender yourself to entitlement you abdicate these inalienable rights. The only way these rights are lost is through negligence. The surest way to neglect these rights is to expect someone else to take care of them for you. That's what happens when you abandon personal responsibility.
But isn't it the government's responsibility to protect these values? Yes, but the government is you. We're in grave danger of losing the ideal of government by, of and for the people. What's ridiculous about that is that as a people we've never had more political power. No citizen can be legally denied a vote, but a vast segment of the population still doesn't vote or only votes in presidential elections. Anyone can run for nearly any office in America, yet political parties have to beg to recruit worthy candidates.
I don't like the way the government is managing our resources. I don't think most of them have the faintest idea about how the economic system works; the chief of the treasury can't even use TurboTax. What can you do? You can vote and participate. You can write to your representative. If you don't like the way they're managing things you can fire them. Remember that despite what some of them believe about themselves; they are "the people" too. Most of them have two arms, two legs, at least part of a functional brain and probably a mortgage just like you. It's up to you to remind them that they're only human once in a while and that after all, they're supposed to be working for you.
Too many of us have been too quiet for too long. It isn't that we didn't care; it's that we were trying to be polite. There's no time for eloquence and political correctness; it's time to be blunt. We had better return to a culture of personal responsibility or risk losing everything we've accomplished over the past 200 years; and despite what some people think that's a lot.
It's right to be charitable. It's right to help people with authentic need. Unless we accept personal responsibility for our own success and happiness, very few of us will have anything to share.
Back to Katrina: Just after the storm a number of people were re-located to recreational vehicles that had been donated and set-up outside one of the towns that had been destroyed. A news team was reporting on conditions in the area and interviewed several survivors who were complaining about the poor conditions. The predominant complaints were:
- Most of the air conditioning units on the RV's were not working. (Note: this was due to the inadequate electric power supply in the emergency area that simply couldn't support the higher amperage demands of the air conditioning.)
- The volunteer shuttle service was sporadic and people sometimes had to wait all morning for a lift to the local Wal-Mart for supplies. (Note: It should be mentioned that the shuttle was completely voluntary and likely staffed by people who were also dealing with storm related issues and that the local Wal-Mart was donating thousands of dollars worth of supplies to these storm survivors.)
Don't worry; I'm leaving this on a positive note!
One remarkable woman stood out. An elderly woman had just returned to her trailer after walking over a mile to the Wal-Mart and back again for supplies. The reporter asked her about the hardships of the walk and about returning to her hot trailer with no air conditioning.
The woman smiled and said she was grateful to have a roof over her head and thanked the people at Wal-Mart for their generosity. She said the walk was a minor inconvenience given the circumstances and that she had nothing but thanks for being alive, for the people who provided her with her temporary home and for the incredible kindness of so many who were opening their hearts to the refugees of the storm. In the midst of losing her home and nearly her life this woman found abundance through gratitude.
It's that simple.
Declaration of Personal Responsibility:
- If I bought it; I'll pay for it. It may not be easy, but I'll do everything in my power to repay my debts. If I'm in trouble; I'll go directly to my creditors as a first step; assistance is a last resort. If I receive assistance I will endeavor to pay it back.
- I will practice gratitude. When I receive help, I will return thanks. I will practice gratitude every day as a way to take inventory of the resources I have to move forward.
- My health is my responsibility. I will take care of myself in body, mind and spirit. If I seek risk, I accept responsibility.
- I will vote. It's the least I can do to participate in this system. The survival of American Democracy depends on my participation.
- I will embrace the process of self-perfection. I will continually improve myself for my benefit and the benefit of others.
- I will work to continually increase my power. Power is my capacity to act effectively. I cannot share power unless I am powerful. It's my obligation to become powerful.
- I will share power, love and respect unconditionally. I will accept responsibility personally.
Jim Bouchard is America's Black Belt Powervator; speaker, coach and author of Dynamic Components of Personal POWER! Get your copy at JimBouchard.org!
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