Resolutions Suck!

It's time for my annual rant on the ineffectiveness of New Year resolutions. This year I'm adding business planning and professional development goals suck too!

"But, you've got to do it!"

Only 12% of anyone who makes resolutions makes it past the first month. How many small business people make plans or review their last plan in preparation for the New Year? Of those, how many set goals that are unattainable or unrealistic?

Since I've been teaching people how to think like black belts I can tell you've I've met too many people who either do no planning whatsoever or set goals they won't reach unless hell freezes a bridge across the River Styx.

Here are some common bullshit excuses and some no bullshit responses:

1. I don't have enough time.
   
   This is the biggest pile of bullshit excuse out there! First of all, immediately stop what you're doing and go to the bookstore…now! Buy a copy of Stephen Covey's "First Things First." Sit down and read it!
   
   Planning and goal setting is a number one priority whether you're mapping out strategy for a business or keeping your skills sharp to assure you're going to continue to be a valuable employee. You don't have the time NOT to plan!
   
   I heard this excuse from a guy who hasn't had a job in 4 years! I don't know what else he's doing with his time, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that part of the reason he's still out of work is that he doesn't have a concrete plan for getting any!
   
   
2. I don't have the money to _____________ (fill in the blank!).
   
   Steal a pen and a single piece of paper! Actually, go to any bank or real estate office and act as if you're a customer, they'll give you a promotional package that will inevitably include a branded note pad and pen.
   
   Whatever you're going to do in the coming year is dependent on the resources you have right now. You may be eating bean sandwiches, but there has never been more opportunity to accomplish so much with so little. You do need to take a realistic inventory of your current material; emotional and spiritual resources…
   
   …then you need to DO SOMETHING! Not having the money is not an excuse; it may be the beginning of your highest priority goal!
   
   Some people will use other scarcity issues as an excuse; not skilled enough, don't have the connections, no experience etc. So what? If you're lacking in some area it will be part of your plan to change that condition.
   
   
3. Things are changing too fast; there's no way to predict ___________ (fill in the blank!).
   
   Amen. Planning is not prophecy. I'll even grant that you could create the most bomb-proof plan ever created only to get blown up by a bigger, badder bomb!
   
   Planning is dynamic; it's an ongoing process. But, you've got to start somewhere. You've got to have your eyes on the horizon and you've got to develop tools for making reasonable assumptions based on actual data.
   
   That's what the planning process is all about. In addition to preparing you better for the coming year, planning helps you develop a greater awareness of the dangers and opportunities ahead.
   

So why do so many goals fall short and so many plans go unfulfilled? Here are some of the top dangers whether you're making a personal resolution or drafting your business plan:

• Unrealistic or unattainable goals. Base your plan on an accurate inventory of material, emotional and spiritual resources. This is the first part of the planning process.
  
  
• Bad data. Do your homework; make sure your inventory is accurate. Avoid taking emotional leaps. It's great to have a big idea that keeps you focused on the horizon, but remember to check the ground in front of you.
  
  
• Unspecific goals. You've got to be focused to succeed. Goals that are too broad or general are much more difficult to accomplish.
  
  
• Setbacks. Develop Black Belt Mindset; if you get knocked down seven times, get up eight! Small setbacks shouldn't derail your plans. Good planning helps you anticipate and overcome setbacks.
  

Now is the time to sit down and develop a clear picture of what you hope to accomplish in 2010. You may want to expand your business, or assure that it weathers the economic storm. You may want to expand your value in the marketplace by learning new skills or earning new certifications. You may want to prepare for your newborn's college education or your own retirement.

Whatever it is you hope to accomplish follow the example of the world's most successful people. Successful people don't wait for opportunities; they plan for them!


Additional reading:
Resolutions: Bullshit!

Resolutions SUCK! Start your New Year REVOLUTION!

"Jim Bouchard's program is a revolutionary approach to planning and goal setting!"

In New Year REVOLUTION:

• Take an accurate inventory of material, emotional and spiritual resources. For business, this inventory includes tangible and intangible assets.
  
  
• Develop specific attainable and sustainable goals based on current resources.
  
  
• Access the discipline and focus you need to accomplish your goals...even when times are tough!
  

"This may be the most important workshop you'll attend as you start your New Year!"

Book your own New Year REVOLUTION workshop featuring Jim Bouchard, author of Think Like a Black Belt! Programs for businesses, associations, chambers and meetings! Call 800-786-8502 today!

For more information visit the New Year REVOLUTION page here!

Gratitude is Not a Platitude: Part II

Let's smash a cliché. Too many gurus stand in front of too many audiences and with beaming smile and hands in the air exhort "the attitude of gratitude!"

I'm not smiling and I'm not exhorting. Gratitude is not a platitude; it's an essential daily practice. A gratitude practice is a practical technique for taking inventory of your emotional, spiritual and material resources.
Here's how it works. Take some time to simply think about the people in your life, the things you have right now and most of all your talents and abilities. These are the emotional, spiritual and material resources you have in hand to work with. Whatever you do and whatever you want to accomplish from here on starts with these resources.

Be thankful; even if some resources are scarce! The old adage that says "it can't get any worse" is a bold faced lie! I'm not a pessimist but no matter how bad things are right now, I know things can always get worse. Whatever resources you have here and now are worthy of gratitude; just think about life without them.

Chris Gardner's story "The Pursuit of Happyness" is inspirational on a number of levels. You might remember Chris played by Will Smith writing out a check. His son Christopher asks what he's doing and Chris replies, "I'm paying a parking ticket." Christopher says, "But we don't have a car anymore." Chris answers, "Ya, I know!"

What is there to be thankful for in a moment like that? Have you had times like that? I have.

I can remember waking up on cold Maine mornings in my 1050's vintage mobile home and chipping a skim of ice off the water in the toilet so I could complete my constitutional. I can remember having genuine fear over whether or not I'd have enough to eat for the rest of the week or whether the power would be shut off. I can identify with Chris Gardner because like Chris, some of my poverty was due to my pursuit of what other people might consider unattainable dreams. Mine was compounded by extremely poor choices, what Gardner calls the “being stupid” part of life.

At some point I learned to simply be grateful; even at times when happiness was only a pursuit. In Chris' story he has a son to worry about; I can remember being grateful that I didn't have kids.

What did I have to be thankful for? I had friends that cared about me. I found mentors who took a genuine interest in me and offered sound advice for changing my condition. I began to discover talents and abilities. I would later find martial arts and start to develop self-confidence. Later I'd learn how to transform some of that confidence into a sense of purpose and self-worth. Much later I'd learn how to share that value with others.

It all starts with gratitude. Before I learned how to be thankful for what I had I was completely immersed in poverty; not just material poverty but complete scarcity of emotional and spiritual resources as well.
Eventually I learned that even if I had to chip ice off my toilet, at least I wasn't sleeping outside in the snow bank. I learned to be thankful that I quit drugs before they killed me. I learned to be thankful that I had a drive to learn and work ethic that I could access to change my life.

For the sake of this story I'm condensing a process that took years; but eventually I learned to simply focus on what I have here and now. No matter how scarce, the resources I have now are the resources I have to work with to effect change and move forward. I learned that I was a pretty resourceful bastard! Given the opportunity (or the challenge), most people can be pretty resourceful. This process of focusing on what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have became my gratitude practice.

Now I'm grateful for everyone who is a part of my life. I'm grateful for the students in my martial arts program, for my friends and family and most of all for my wife Alex who indulges and supports my wild and often risky adventures. I'm grateful for my modest, warm and comfortable home. I'm grateful for the talents and abilities I've discovered. I'm particularly grateful for the places I've seen and the wonderful adventures I've had.

I could still use a quick and bountiful cash infusion, but who couldn't? When it comes, I'll be grateful!
Your gratitude practice can be as formal as a prayer or period of meditation or reflection. You can sit down and actually do an inventory of material, emotional and spiritual assets. Whatever you do make it a regular part of your life.

My practice is simple. I just take some time throughout the day to say thank you; and it works!

Spectators, Voyeurs and Cowards

No attempts at literary cuteness today:

The actions, or rather inactions of the spectators, voyeurs and cowards who watched a young woman raped in Richmond, California have left me sick to my stomach.

Have we raised a generation of spectators? Over 20 kids watched one of their own brutally assaulted for more than two hours. Only one young woman had even the decency to call the police?

The kid who dropped the dime is being made out a hero. I'll give you this; she did the right thing. I'm not diminishing the quality of her action; I'm sure she had to consider retribution from her peers. Still it's sad that we consider the most obvious and fundament action we'd expect in this situation an act of heroism.

As a professional in the self-defense industry I'd be the first to give a pass to anyone who might fear getting physically involved in stopping an attack like this. The least you can and should do is call for help. Had any of these kids jumped in and pulled the rapists from their victims I'd certainly acknowledge their courage and heroism.

Those who watched, and photographed, and texted their friends while the rape was still going on are cowards. These kids are a waste of food. My first impulse is to sentence all of them to a televised re-run of the incident with each of them in the featured role.

I had to do some work and some soul-searching to find compassion for the kids who stood by and watched. The fact is that by our legal standards, they had no obligation to help. We've enabled a generation of spectators. We've taught young people to stay out of it, mind their own business, and not get involved. We've told them that someone else's problem is, well, someone else's problem. We've enabled kids to blame others for their behaviors and blame others for their crimes. We've crippled them with entitlements and excused their lack of personal responsibility.

Then I remembered the kids I work with every day. Kids who come to martial arts classes day after day; work hard and focus on improving themselves; kids who understand that respect means taking care of one another and that it's their responsibility to do so. These kids know that the absence of fear is stupidity and that courage is acting in the face of it.

I like to think that most kids would have tried to stop this rape. Most kids would have called the cops.
What's the difference? Why would some kids, and adults for that matter, put themselves in harm's way to protect someone else while others are content, even entertained to stand by and watch?

We've got to stop blaming media, schools and government for these problems. It's time to hold ourselves accountable as parents, teachers and neighbors. It's time to provide the best possible examples we can and insist on discipline, focus, respect and courage from ourselves.

We've got to teach these values early and often. We've got to indoctrinate young people with positive values and role models in order to inoculate them from the insanity we've tolerated for way too long. We're not going to win this war through appeasement, we've got to stay in the fight and make sure our young people are strong enough to face the battle; this war never ends.

We've got to return to the fundamental teaching that sometimes you've got do what might be painful, difficult or dangerous for no other reason than it's the right thing to do.

It's not for me to forgive the young men and women who treated an actual rape like a reality TV show. I hope that for her own health and sanity the victim can find forgiveness for them. I want to stay good and pissed off. I'm hoping this energy will help me stay focused on the important job of training young men and women, and adult men and women, to live a life of discipline, personal responsibility and courage.
These days that's not always an easy job. It is the right thing to do.

Article on reaction to Richmond High rape from Contra Costa Times...

Video on classmates and the young woman who called police from FOX News...